Catching up (Part 2)
So where was I? I left you at the Starland Ballroom, which is a great place to see music, its easier to get to than the city and they get good acts. Granted its in the middle of nowhere so there is really nothing to do before or after the show, but I think that pretty much sums up every venue in NJ, its not like you can go bar hopping at the Arts Center considering the grounds are bisected by a toll highway. Don't get me started on the Meadowlands, though they are constructing the largest money pit in North America. Apparently Xanadu is going to have indoor skiing, laser tag, shopping, and who knows what else. I'm sure that if you can't get people to show up to see a Stanley Cup winning hockey team or one of the best teams in basketball over the last 5 years, they'll be lining up to pay 75 dollars to climb an indoor plastic cliff to reach the summit and eat krispy kreme donuts and then ski down a mechanical mountain covered in Astroturf. Sounds like a plan.
Anyway last weekend I worked at the bar Friday. Its summer so the regulars escape to the beach, to binge drink with recent college graduates and have anonymous sex with someone that paid 6000 dollars to share a bedroom infested with cryptosporidium mold, its only a 1/4 mile to the beach though. No I'm not bitter. Anyway, the drop in local bar patrons allows room for the socially inept and people that live close to Pennsylvania that are afraid to traverse the Parkway. I don't really understand it, but I see plenty of IDs from the hinterlands. So Friday I divided my time between barely being conscious waiting for my chance to throttle someone from the Delaware River Valley and wishing that I could drive down the shore and throttle the people that made space for these web footed mongoloids. Apparently I have issues. Saturday, I caught up with an old friend who was in town for early Fathers Day activities. Then I drove down to Red Bank to hang out with some work peeps outside of the confines of our wage slavery. Red Bank is a hip town, good bar scene, I kept my demons in check, its best not to let your co-workers see you arm wrestle for money or defile public buildings. At least that's my policy, your mileage may vary. Not too much else I can say, the night was mostly uneventful, good weather. I had to run out of south jersey early Sunday though because Yankee baseball was in order.
First game of the year for me, its very late, I usually end up at a game early in the season, typically one that should be rained out but isn't and I'm forced to down 8 dollar beers for warmth. Yes force, don't judge. I was parked in the bleachers for this game, so no beer during the game, which was actually perfect because even though I took it easy the night before I still fell victim to the osmotic effect of alcohol. To cure my dehydration I had 2 hot dogs and a souvenir cup of soda during the first inning. Babe Ruth would have been proud. Quickly followed by a second soda. I was going to have 2 more hot dogs but my brain decided that any more lips and ears and I might stroke out, and I hadn't seen the whole game yet. The bleachers are an adventure when you are shaped like a small grizzly bear, the lack of backs and arm rests leaves you open to all sorts of elbows and bumping. I tried my best to keep confined, but people need concessions. So I stood up, sat down, leaned, shifted in some sort of deranged hokey pokey game. The left foot was definitely in, out, and shaken all about. I did enjoy the crowd though, a few years back they stopped the beer in the cheap seats, I think because there was a human sacrifice during a Red Sox game. So its toned down, but Oakland right fielder Milton Bradley still got an ear full. The best being after he trickled in a relay throw, apparently the bleachers have seen better arms on a snake. Priceless.
Last week was back to the daily grind, I've been trying to stay away from the vending machine seeing as its bikini season. I don't want the old plum smuggler to be overly form fitting, the ladies can only take so much. I got new glasses, since my most recent pair was lost, and I had been using the old backup pair that wore out last week. Even with the insurance discount, I paid quite a premium to play Mr. Potatohead. Trying on glasses is a ridiculous experience when your head looks like it should be carved into a mountain next to Abe Lincoln's. I do wish I had a plastic derby and mustache to put on while trying out glasses, that would be fantastic. Thankfully the Lens Crafter girl was easy on the eyes so getting robbed blind wasn't so bad. I'm out of ocular references so lets move on.
This past weekend was action packed, Friday I raced down after work to LBI. A last minute fishing invite was all I needed to keep me away from home. I hit the island just before 8pm and stopped in at the Beach Haven fishery, I paid 20 dollars for dinner, which is outrageous when you consider that it was an appetizer and a sandwich with fries. But then when you realize that it was clams on the half shell and a fresh Yellowfin tuna salad sandwich on ciabatta bread, and I got to eat it on one of the best weather days I can remember during a nice sunset, it starts to make sense. I never want to eat canned tuna again, but that might not be practical seeing as I'm mostly land locked. Anyway, I headed down to my friends bungalow, a house behind a house that is his summer rental. The ceilings were disturbingly low, and though I could stand up straight I still developed a complex and was walking around like a Neanderthal. The plan was to go out for a bit, and go to bed early to go fishing at 5 AM. We headed down to the Hudson House and had a few suds and played video golf till about midnight, when we headed home and I curled up on what might be the most uncomfortable couch devised by man. Exposed wooden armrests and probably 66 inches long means that my 75 inch body was packed into something that used to be an medieval torture device. Around 3am the other roommates came home in altered states, nearly walking through a screen door. Some late night phone hi jinks and a lack of REM sleep and I emerged from the Iron Maiden ready to fish.
We headed out, it was a little cool but the weather was going to be beautiful. We were just off the beach when the Bunker were coming out of the water looking for smaller bait fish. I was making bunker jokes (Archie, Hitler, whatever worked) when we started treble casting. The hope is that there are large schools of Striped Bass or Bluefish that are chasing the Bunker which are chasing the smaller bait fish. The point of treble casting is you throw a hook that looks like a tiny grappling hook across the school and literally drag one into the boat. You hook 'em wherever it sticks. Its surprisingly effective, once on the boat you live line them, which means you stick a hook through their back and throw the Bunker back in the water hopefully to be chased and then eaten by a larger fish that you will then eat. Its completely barbaric and actually kind of fun, granted I have liberal guilt, but I'm not apologizing we eat what we catch and they are fish for crying out loud. However all this live lining was unsuccessful, the bigger fish were sleeping in like I should have. So we headed off shore to go fluking. I caught a delicious Sea Bass, and we had a couple of other keeper fluke on the boat. We headed in around lunch time, I hopped in my car and headed back to Morristown, I had a party to miss and work to go to. The ride home was interesting, no iPod so I was stuck with the radio. Thankfully there was good classic rock on. About 20 miles up the Parkway, I noticed that my eyes were closing and I was weaving like a long haul trucker. Unfortunately I don't have access to crystal meth like long haul truckers do, so I needed to pull over. I napped at the Monmouth rest area, for about 15 minutes which was all I really needed. I was disappointed I didn't get solicited for sex or harassed by the police or something, I figured that was the norm since I don't really sleep at rest areas. I made it home safely to install two air conditioners for my Mom, and then enter a coma while watching the US Open. Work Saturday night was uneventful.
Yesterday, I mooched some backyard pool access and got a little sun. Very little seeing as I'm cancer prone and have an office job. Thanks genetics! Went over to my Mom's to eat my catch. Called my Dad even though he forgot my birthday, eye for an eye only makes the world blind I suppose. So that brings us up to date, I'll try and keep up with my weeks events from now on, I don't think the broad strokes work out as well as my little vignettes about the day to day operations. So stay tuned there should be more this week.
J
Anyway last weekend I worked at the bar Friday. Its summer so the regulars escape to the beach, to binge drink with recent college graduates and have anonymous sex with someone that paid 6000 dollars to share a bedroom infested with cryptosporidium mold, its only a 1/4 mile to the beach though. No I'm not bitter. Anyway, the drop in local bar patrons allows room for the socially inept and people that live close to Pennsylvania that are afraid to traverse the Parkway. I don't really understand it, but I see plenty of IDs from the hinterlands. So Friday I divided my time between barely being conscious waiting for my chance to throttle someone from the Delaware River Valley and wishing that I could drive down the shore and throttle the people that made space for these web footed mongoloids. Apparently I have issues. Saturday, I caught up with an old friend who was in town for early Fathers Day activities. Then I drove down to Red Bank to hang out with some work peeps outside of the confines of our wage slavery. Red Bank is a hip town, good bar scene, I kept my demons in check, its best not to let your co-workers see you arm wrestle for money or defile public buildings. At least that's my policy, your mileage may vary. Not too much else I can say, the night was mostly uneventful, good weather. I had to run out of south jersey early Sunday though because Yankee baseball was in order.
First game of the year for me, its very late, I usually end up at a game early in the season, typically one that should be rained out but isn't and I'm forced to down 8 dollar beers for warmth. Yes force, don't judge. I was parked in the bleachers for this game, so no beer during the game, which was actually perfect because even though I took it easy the night before I still fell victim to the osmotic effect of alcohol. To cure my dehydration I had 2 hot dogs and a souvenir cup of soda during the first inning. Babe Ruth would have been proud. Quickly followed by a second soda. I was going to have 2 more hot dogs but my brain decided that any more lips and ears and I might stroke out, and I hadn't seen the whole game yet. The bleachers are an adventure when you are shaped like a small grizzly bear, the lack of backs and arm rests leaves you open to all sorts of elbows and bumping. I tried my best to keep confined, but people need concessions. So I stood up, sat down, leaned, shifted in some sort of deranged hokey pokey game. The left foot was definitely in, out, and shaken all about. I did enjoy the crowd though, a few years back they stopped the beer in the cheap seats, I think because there was a human sacrifice during a Red Sox game. So its toned down, but Oakland right fielder Milton Bradley still got an ear full. The best being after he trickled in a relay throw, apparently the bleachers have seen better arms on a snake. Priceless.
Last week was back to the daily grind, I've been trying to stay away from the vending machine seeing as its bikini season. I don't want the old plum smuggler to be overly form fitting, the ladies can only take so much. I got new glasses, since my most recent pair was lost, and I had been using the old backup pair that wore out last week. Even with the insurance discount, I paid quite a premium to play Mr. Potatohead. Trying on glasses is a ridiculous experience when your head looks like it should be carved into a mountain next to Abe Lincoln's. I do wish I had a plastic derby and mustache to put on while trying out glasses, that would be fantastic. Thankfully the Lens Crafter girl was easy on the eyes so getting robbed blind wasn't so bad. I'm out of ocular references so lets move on.
This past weekend was action packed, Friday I raced down after work to LBI. A last minute fishing invite was all I needed to keep me away from home. I hit the island just before 8pm and stopped in at the Beach Haven fishery, I paid 20 dollars for dinner, which is outrageous when you consider that it was an appetizer and a sandwich with fries. But then when you realize that it was clams on the half shell and a fresh Yellowfin tuna salad sandwich on ciabatta bread, and I got to eat it on one of the best weather days I can remember during a nice sunset, it starts to make sense. I never want to eat canned tuna again, but that might not be practical seeing as I'm mostly land locked. Anyway, I headed down to my friends bungalow, a house behind a house that is his summer rental. The ceilings were disturbingly low, and though I could stand up straight I still developed a complex and was walking around like a Neanderthal. The plan was to go out for a bit, and go to bed early to go fishing at 5 AM. We headed down to the Hudson House and had a few suds and played video golf till about midnight, when we headed home and I curled up on what might be the most uncomfortable couch devised by man. Exposed wooden armrests and probably 66 inches long means that my 75 inch body was packed into something that used to be an medieval torture device. Around 3am the other roommates came home in altered states, nearly walking through a screen door. Some late night phone hi jinks and a lack of REM sleep and I emerged from the Iron Maiden ready to fish.
We headed out, it was a little cool but the weather was going to be beautiful. We were just off the beach when the Bunker were coming out of the water looking for smaller bait fish. I was making bunker jokes (Archie, Hitler, whatever worked) when we started treble casting. The hope is that there are large schools of Striped Bass or Bluefish that are chasing the Bunker which are chasing the smaller bait fish. The point of treble casting is you throw a hook that looks like a tiny grappling hook across the school and literally drag one into the boat. You hook 'em wherever it sticks. Its surprisingly effective, once on the boat you live line them, which means you stick a hook through their back and throw the Bunker back in the water hopefully to be chased and then eaten by a larger fish that you will then eat. Its completely barbaric and actually kind of fun, granted I have liberal guilt, but I'm not apologizing we eat what we catch and they are fish for crying out loud. However all this live lining was unsuccessful, the bigger fish were sleeping in like I should have. So we headed off shore to go fluking. I caught a delicious Sea Bass, and we had a couple of other keeper fluke on the boat. We headed in around lunch time, I hopped in my car and headed back to Morristown, I had a party to miss and work to go to. The ride home was interesting, no iPod so I was stuck with the radio. Thankfully there was good classic rock on. About 20 miles up the Parkway, I noticed that my eyes were closing and I was weaving like a long haul trucker. Unfortunately I don't have access to crystal meth like long haul truckers do, so I needed to pull over. I napped at the Monmouth rest area, for about 15 minutes which was all I really needed. I was disappointed I didn't get solicited for sex or harassed by the police or something, I figured that was the norm since I don't really sleep at rest areas. I made it home safely to install two air conditioners for my Mom, and then enter a coma while watching the US Open. Work Saturday night was uneventful.
Yesterday, I mooched some backyard pool access and got a little sun. Very little seeing as I'm cancer prone and have an office job. Thanks genetics! Went over to my Mom's to eat my catch. Called my Dad even though he forgot my birthday, eye for an eye only makes the world blind I suppose. So that brings us up to date, I'll try and keep up with my weeks events from now on, I don't think the broad strokes work out as well as my little vignettes about the day to day operations. So stay tuned there should be more this week.
J
posted by JD at 9:08 AM
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